Friday, October 11, 2013

Love Is Asking Questions.

“What a man desires is unfailing love” Prov. 19:22

Just today I heard and read multiple comments expressing hurt, frustration, and loneliness. The causes of these feelings probably vary, but I found one thing to be in common with each life- a lack of care and love.

For me, today was hard- just one of those days where, inside and out, nothing is easy. But- there were moments and people that “made my day”, as is casual to say. It’s a cliché, but it has truth nonetheless. Those people made my day okay, bearable, and in the end, actually enjoyable. Even through the pain.

What comes to mind specifically are certain conversations that went deeper than a “hi” or simple talk about a math class. Certain people who stuck around longer and paid attention more; people who gave up their own time, whether aware of it or not, to share it with me. Like one who, on my walk back to the Cranbrook campus from Kingswood, not only waited for me, but also walked with me all the way. It may seem simple, overlooked, possibly somewhat silly to point out, but it meant more and was timelier than they may have known.

It seems obvious to say: love, care, share, etc. And, perhaps it’s said too much, used too much, even by me. No matter how many times it’s stated however, I don’t think it looses its sense of immediacy and necessity.

In another light, on the road to trying to love and care for others more, I have caught myself suddenly trying to love the world, and every single person in it. Impossible. Rather, going deep with someone means much more than staying shallow with many people. Both in their life, and I believe, in yours. By going deep, I mean really committing to giving to that person. Giving anything, everything.

Through many experiences, I have realized (mind you it’s a realization not easy to stay faithful to) that you don’t need to get attention, just give attention. I suppose you could connect it to selflessness. Easy? No. Rewarding? Incredibly.

Selflessness. Giving. Loving. Life is so much more than books, than classes, than me.  How much of myself can I give away so that when I do struggle with something, maybe such as pride, there will be less of me to deal with?

What a man desires is love. For unfailing love, we have to look above. But what is more important when living and growing with others than love? It changes an outlook. It changes a day. It changes circumstances. It changes people.

Yet, for those of us hurting…

The road is two ways. And perhaps, this is the more intimidating side.

“What a man desires is unfailing love”

If we desire love, yet we don’t know how to accept it, how will we ever really know what love is?

Someone sits down next to you and asks how you are, and you say “fine” just to get them off your case. Why is this?

Is it considered a failure to be weak? Is it the audience’s fault for potentially passing judgment? Is it the world’s fault for creating an environment where weak is worst?

Love isn’t always found in strength. In fact, most times love comes out of weakness. If we can’t accept, share, admit, or be open about our weaknesses, how can we then know true love? And not true love relating to ourselves, but true love in relation with others.

That bond, that love, born out of weakness and formed between people, is that possibly the love that we each desire? Yet often are too scared to reach for?

Speaking not to answer questions, but to raise them.