Monday, July 29, 2013

Hold My Hand.

Hold my hand God.

You don't have to make the pain stop,
just hold my hand.

I'm not crying because  I'm angry or bitter. I'm just crying because I'm scared. It's not like the flu, when you know you'll have a couple days of fevers and maybe a few times spent in the bathroom throwing up. It's different, each minute is different. It changes, and I never know when it will reach it's climax or when it might recede. It could be in a few minutes, it could be in hours, it could be in days, or what if the pain doesn't stop? I never know how far it will take me. Will it just remain a small pain in my gut for the time being, or will it proceed into the hours of the night, where tears fall and silent screams are released as I lie on the bathroom floor unable to cry out for anyone to help. It's scary.

I'll go through it, I'll take the pain, I just need to know you're here with me Jesus.