Monday, May 14, 2012

So many people suffer, and in so many different ways. I think it’s a unique thing when one suffers as a teenage girl. I’m not saying it’s easier or harder, just that it creates different obstacles that you need to get through. I have not written for awhile because so many things have happened in the last few weeks. My life seems to have completely changed, in almost every way. A few weeks ago I was feeling so alone, so isolated from everyone around me, and it began to really affect me. I have to say no to anything my friends ask me to do. I used to wear myself out, trying to do every single thing that I used to be able to do. But I realized that when I say yes to activities, it’s no fun anyway because I have no energy to spend talking to people or having fun.  I end up having a worse time there than I would at home. These days I spend almost all of my time in my bed, except for when I’m at school. This is the only way I can have enough strength to get through each day and it breaks my heart each time I have to reject an offer to hang out, because I want to so badly.  All I want to do is be able to go have fun whether it’s with my family or my friends, doing what a normal 15 year old girl loves to do. But I can’t. However, things started to change, or I started to lose a tiny bit of that loneliness when I came home one day after school and realized my brother had entered a contest for me (to win a trip anywhere I wanted to go). Not only did he spend all of his time writing an essay and making an amazing video, but we also won the contest! I cannot express how much it means to someone when somebody shows you so much genuine love. A couple weeks later I was also surprised, and completely shocked, when my school threw a surprise birthday party for me, the whole school by the way. The love and care shown by my family and my friends, and even those I didn’t know, went SO far. They will never know how much they really did for me. The only thing that I wish is that I could do something for all of them that would be even half of what they have done for me. I do not feel like I deserve any of it, but I’m not dumb enough to reject a gift haha. If there was one thing that I have learned from all of this, it is that love is one of the most important things that you can offer someone. The only way I know how to rightly describe love is this; “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” 1 John 3:16 and “God is love.” 1 John 4:16. 


  1. Even when you're not seeing the love around you, its always there. In the moments we do see it, we should stop and really appreciate it, which I am sure you do better than anyone else due to your circumstances. Continue to stay strong and just keep your head up, even if you need to force yourself in the worst of times. Things always get better in the end, and if they arent, you havent reached the end yet(:

    Keep up with your blog, i think people need to know your story, and it will help them to appreciate themselves and their lives rather than take things for granted.

    if you ever want someone to just talk to, about nothing or something, you can contact me..(:

  2. dear Anna,

    i really know what you mean when you say you wish you could do what every "normal" teenage girl does..i can completely identify with you because i was diagnosed with the same disease when i was your age.I know what it feels like having no energy.Nevertheless,i feel there is something from my personal experience that i have to share with you:two years after my diagnosis i had more strength and energy and i was able to be engaged in many activities!I can clearly remember that period of my life when i was active despite the disease.Anna i am sure that this energy was related to the fact that i was optimistic and happy!So you have to remain focused and positive in order to have a better quality of life.Anna it s true:the way we feel and think affects the level of our energy.Whenever i feel desperate i can not do much..please never forget that your psychological state affects this disease!try to find every tiny thing that gives you a big smile and embrace it!
    Anna ,the last 17 years (i am 33 now) i have tried every medication you can imagine to help control scleroderma..I can reassure you that love was one of the most effective medications:)I am so glad you have a wonderful family and many friends that love you!!let them bring light and hope in your life..
    Anna you are young..stay strong!i believe in you and i totally understand you!
    i wish i could give you a hug!
    many greetings from Greece,
    Vasiliki me!i would be glad to talk to you!